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July 09 6.13-6.30 新疆怎么也想不到自己最后去了新疆。
在Canada的时候就听到了四川地震的消息，那时已经预订了九寨、稻城、亚丁的行程，悲痛的同时，庆幸自己的幸运。
5月20回国，只因6月30乌鲁木齐到北京的机票特价，就把目的地从四川改成了新疆。和妈妈一起，所以生平第一次参团。
·美丽的天池，也叫瑶池，西王母和周穆王约会的地方，我因赶路撞上天山，磕得头破血流。
·喀纳斯路上的五彩滩，傍晚，艳丽无比
·天堂很远，喀纳斯很近。冰川移动的痕迹。发源于阿尔泰山主峰的喀纳斯河，与布尔津河汇成中国唯一流入北冰洋的河流——额尔齐斯河。水怪的传说，也给喀纳斯蒙上了神秘的面纱。
·喀纳斯湖的月亮湾，令多少摄影师折腰的地方。可惜光线不好……（MSN相片处理的太差劲了，什么东西传上来都毁了）
·回程的路上，通过自然保护区，遇到比大熊猫还珍贵的普氏野马，恐龙时代的活化石。匆匆奔向他们，司机却狠狠鸣起喇叭，我只能羡慕地看着那些跑到野马跟前的自驾游客，郁闷地离去。
·去草原途径高山湖泊赛里木湖，乌云压顶，本以为与她无缘，谁知车行间已经逐渐穿出了云雾，身旁乌云与湖居然连接了起来，形成壮观的雨柱，还不是伴有紫色的闪电狠狠地砸向湖中，远处却是阳光一片，绿油油，金灿灿。可惜不让停车拍照，恨死旅行团。
·那拉提草原，是新疆柔美的另一面。牛儿，羊儿，马儿，还有热情的哈萨克族。 ·这里也是薰衣草之乡。 ·本以为参团的旅行不会有那种他乡遇故知的亮点，谁知我却遇到了他，一个同样从来不参团的超级自助玩家——毛毛。 ·告别了北疆，直飞喀什，奔向帕米尔高原。海拔7509米，冰山之父——慕士塔格峰。 ·海拔3600米的卡拉库里湖和公格尔九连峰 ·中国和巴基斯坦的界碑，海拔5100米。其实我们从5100米的哨所还前行了不少，有人用海拔仪测过是5300米。如果是这样，那这就是我现在去过最高的地方。 ·回程的时候，居然遇到了泥石流，还好不严重。 ·达瓦昆沙漠，位于中国最大的塔克拉玛干沙漠边缘，骑骆驼进去小遛了一圈。 ·吐鲁番，当天有47度。馒头山，当年拍西游记“你挑着担，我牵着马”的地方 ·达坂城的风力发电站。去吐鲁番的路上有一段风力最大的地区，经常刮13、14级大风，也就是那次吹翻火车的地方。
新疆之行，是我继Banff以后第二次使用Canon 400D+L17-40的镜头组合。个人认为这里的景色比Banff更具有变化性，有沙漠，隔壁，也有绿洲，草原，也更有文化底蕴。可不知如何，照片的效果却比Banff差很多，可能因为Banff是自驾，这里是跟团吧，不能随便的停车，不能随便地等待阳光的角度，见到没人就要赶紧按快门。帕米尔高原的海拔比Banff高，为防万一还备了氧气袋，高原总会让人呼吸急促，这种心跳加速与对大字然的敬畏混合，汇聚成一种别样的感觉，毕竟，危险之处的美景，才更令人眷恋和回味。
April 08 new york, boston, niagara falls(canadian side)点滴：
1、和rachel四处寻觅着联合国总部，却见一群人举着牌子、面对某幢大楼挥舞、示威。与rachel相视一笑，那“众矢之的”就是联合国大楼了吧！“这是谁在示威？”“哪个伊斯兰国家的吧？”我拿起相机，拍下有生以来见到的第一次游行。穿过马路，我们等着通往总部的路灯变绿，那些人就在身后2米处高喊着“People Rights!”“United Nations!”偶然回头，看到一个大牌子上赫然写着“Tibet Free”...
2、在渡口排队，等待着坐船去自由岛看望女神MM。“Are you from Korea?”......（不知道在叫谁）“Are you from Korea?” 我一回头，一个流浪艺人微笑着看着我。“No.”“Where are you from?”“China.”然后，他拉起手中的小提琴，演奏的旋律如此熟悉，是我们的国歌！
3、波士顿，想到我就觉得好笑，Window Shopping变成Shopping狂的地方，可怜我的信用卡，差点爆了，罪过罪过。唯一让我印象深刻的，就是Harvard的玻璃花展馆，这些“标本”花都是用玻璃制成的，你相信吗？
4、Niagara Falls，第一次去了趟赌场，本来希望赢点零花钱，结果输个精光。还是Niagara on the lake好，一个小镇，一个秘密，the hidden romance behind the Niagara Falls.
5、一般的葡萄酒在葡萄成熟时进行收割、酿造，这里却让葡萄挂在树上，直到11月、12月，等冰冷的霜冻住了果实，在某个清晨，人工出去采摘。一串葡萄，水分已被冰冻，用手挤压，滴出仅有的几滴甘露，酿成价格不菲的Ice Wine。走进葡萄园，听讲解员说着这里的历史，教我们品酒的方法，分辨着2002、2004以及2005年酿造冰酒的不同滋味。
下一段旅行：
大香格里拉地区，是广义的香格里拉，包含了西藏以及云南、四川的西部地区，景色无力伦比。这里曾经是女儿国的发源地，有些地方至今还沿袭着走婚和一妻多夫的习俗，一个女人，嫁给几兄弟，共同支撑一个家。只是如今，那纯朴的原始，正一点点地消失，香格里拉，在不久的将来，是否也会沦落成记忆中的碎片？让人们只能在历史书籍中唏嘘感叹？
西藏出事，问过边防的朋友，已经平息了，其实我还敢于一个人进藏，只是知道自己高原反应很厉害，朋友不能来接，恐怕下了火车没有力气拉行李出站Taxi去旅馆。于是更改行程，转入四川。背起相机和三脚架，深入刚刚闹事的阿坝以及甘孜藏区，探访稻城、亚丁，寻找最后的香格里拉...... February 19 二度朝圣Tibet 常听人不屑地说：我穿着皮鞋西裤都上了西藏呢！再细听，他们不过是飞到拉萨待了两三天。可不是我要小瞧他们，而是他们小瞧了西藏。真正坚实博大、广阔深厚的天与地，是随着昆仑山、喀喇昆仑山、冈底斯山、喜玛拉雅山等巨大山脉的西行延伸，回到它们的发源地---阿里。
这个地名曾经让多少人望而却步,从拉萨到阿里地区的首府狮泉河，最近的路线也有1600公里，平均海拔4500米以上，很多路段都是没有修过的路基和荒滩。阿里素有“世界屋脊的屋脊”或“西藏的西藏”的称谓，这里地形独特，湖泊众多，人烟稀少，有众多美丽绝伦的的雪山，且险峻多姿，气势磅礴；有着数不清的湖泊和走不到尽头的宽阔草原，各种高原珍奇动物和名贵的植物让您博览世界而不知疲倦。在这片大约30万平方公里辽阔的高原上生存着六万六千多位藏族同胞，主要从事牧业和半农牧业，空旷的大地上，常常几十里不见人烟。每年11月到来年5月大雪封山，阿里便几乎成了与世隔绝的代名词。所以，真正能够闯进阿里、为之惊艳的人，只需甩出一句掷地有声的话，就足以令不屑者汗颜：“阿里，才是西藏最过瘾的地方！” 看到这段话，心潮澎湃...... 6月雪融时，朝圣阿里日。 January 13 Florida~ Happy Days!Florida之行，太爽太爽太爽了！
Orlando的disney, universal studio and sea world, 不记得别的，就记着一遍遍兴高采烈的玩roller coaster~ 悬挂式的腾飞与脚底绚烂的夜、轨道式的强烈失重与超重、木乃伊世界的烈焰与惊恐、漆黑外太空里不可知的轨道与神秘的星空。从一开始的尖叫、惊恐，到后来的微笑、享受、上瘾，强大的心脏负担，速度与快感。
Miami，犯罪、吸毒、与同性恋的天堂。刚到的时候，感觉很不安，后来才知道我们下车的地方是最不安全的一片……不过，Miami真的是富人满街，路上奔驰宝马屡见不鲜。迎着小雨坐船出航，竟然在波浪中看到追逐轮船的海豚，人与动物的和谐亲近，总是让我感到温暖。海湾中坐落着一座“富人岛”，布满了千万豪宅，让我小羡慕了一把。
Miami的大沼泽国家公园，是探险、露营者的好地方，在这里第一次亲眼见到了野生美洲鳄，airboat加速，在沼泽地中飞驰，嗖嗖地掠过身边的水草，冲向一望无际。从Homestead的主入口进入，大致地游览了那片水域，就早早回航。下次再来，一定带好装备，去尽头的flamingo露营。在这里俺还亲手抱了一回鳄鱼，本来想摆个pose,无奈那只小鳄鱼的大爪不停地蹬胸...Rachel也是同样的下场，周围人笑称那鳄鱼肯定是个male。在这片水域，美洲鳄站在食物链的最高端，可那又怎样，照样拿来烹饪~ 既然来了，就应该尝试下，于是我买了fried alligator tail burger，嚼得津津有味，被徐同学指为残忍……
继续南下，奔赴florida群岛链的最南端——keywest。忍了超贵的旅店价格来到这里，不得不说，值！阳光、沙滩、海浪，闻着咸湿的空气入睡，我想，就在这里呆着吧，不走了…… 第二天阳光不错，我们三人摩拳擦掌，尝试了一把jet ski，骑到60mile在海上飞驰，环岛一周，咸咸的海水溅湿了一身，一个浪过来，就像做过山车一样上下颠簸。我们决定向海里奔去，看看能走多远，当海水从碧绿到浅蓝、再到深蓝，心情一下子从兴奋，到自由，再到恐惧。当你回头发现路地越来越小的时候，无垠的不可知的大海不再美丽，却让人不由自主地敬畏和恐惧，这就是自然的力量，让人的身体如此渺小，内心如此脆弱。
换了衣服，下午跑去潜水，水温只有15度，会冷么？不管那么多了，我和Rachel脱掉外套，穿着bikini从船舷跃入冰冷的海水。这边只允许浮浅，不能深潜，虽然自信游泳不错，可是凶猛的海浪还是让我呛了水，咸涩的感觉布满口腔，咽喉灼痛，不巧的是潜水镜居然松掉了，我赶紧镇静了下，重新调整好镜子，扎下头去。小鱼，黄的、蓝的、彩条的，真好看，正陶醉着，突然，身边游过一群50厘米左右的鱼，白颜色，流线型，游过我，远去。模糊中，我想到了什么……鲨鱼！鲨鱼群！我有点疯，四周看看，有人，不怕，这里的鲨鱼不吃人吧，我这样想着，安心了。一直游一直游，在一片凹下去盆地似的地方，我看到了一条1.5到2米长的鲨鱼，是鲨鱼把？真的是么？怎么不追我啊？这里的鲨鱼不吃人？吃人也不会让游客下来吧？不管了，反正没吃我，不知道怎么回事，我游啊游的，好几次都碰到这条鱼，有一次，抬头，看到救生员，兴奋地问我：鲨鱼，看到了么？我猛点头，心里一凉：这鱼还真姓鲨，other people也看到鲨鱼了，说50厘米长，应该是那群小的之一吧，那条大的呢？难道只有我无数次地和它相遇？累了，游到船上，猛猛喝了杯wine，不知道多少度，晕晕乎乎的，看晚霞，可惜云厚，没看到日落，之后跑去吃seafood自助餐，别的没干，坐在角落里狂啃king crab的腿。回到家，之前去过的朋友说他们那次只遇到了半米长的鲨鱼，船员就说危险号召大家上岸了，说我真胆大。啥胆大阿，我那是无知者无畏。
今年的冬天，难忘。回家的那天，是兴奋旅程的结束，也是个温馨生活的开始:) November 23 Happy Thanksgiving!又到感恩节拉，没吃火鸡，自己在家和室友bake cookie~
07年，经历风雨的一年，人生转折的一年，压力、彷徨、失败、焦虑，这一年过得格外深刻与漫长。一路走来，忙忙碌碌，险些失去了感恩的心。说实在的，真应该好好谢谢家人和朋友们，让我在奋斗的路上孤单却不曾寂寞，还应该谢谢所有的挫折以及自己的努力，让我变得更坚强。 我希望读到这里的人都可以在这特别的一天好好感谢自己生命中最重要的人，一句感谢，简单，却珍贵。不要吝啬，说出来，真挚地，趁他们还在。世事无常，难以预料，不要等到为时已晚，才悔恨该说的话从未说出口... October 15 掠影又是很久，一直没有更新。从准备出国的没有时间，再到到这里之后的没有时间，忙忙碌碌，精疲力竭。
室友新开了blog，银子也一直催要看精彩的国外生活，忍不住了，不想备课，上来踩踩脚印。
刚到DC，我就生了病，感冒，并不严重。好了以后嗓子总是疼，每次快好了又因为忙碌的日程和不得不进行的交谈consume我的声音。于是反反复复，拖拉了一个多月，什么药都吃了，治咳嗽的中药、西药，加上抗生素，P用没有。那阵子真的无奈了，感到气管很深的地方疼，感到呼吸困难。每次咳嗽都心惊肉跳，仿佛要死了一般，眼泪哗哗往下流，吓到了我的室友。说好了过来要广交良友，结果和人一说话就痛不欲生，咳嗽不止。无奈，只好忍，就当我冷漠：）知道要休息，可是没有时间。一直都说自己忙，但直到有一次别人问我到底怎么忙，我细数时间的时候，连自己都惊诧了：每天上课4个小时，上下学2小时，备课教课平均4小时，自习加写作业4小时，吃饭2小时，洗漱0.5小时，和别人交流（group study等）1小时，做饭洗碗平均每天1小时。。。。我还想再算些什么的时候，却猛然醒悟每天只剩下5.5小时可以睡觉……忙，忙到给家里打个电话都不能尽兴。
本来想说点有意思的，结果一上来就抱怨一同，罪过罪过~ 还好最艰难的日子已经熬过来了，尽管每次上课还是会紧张，每次上完4个小时的课还是会哑上一阵、腰酸背疼，但至少健康回来了，学习跟上了，懒觉增加了~ 其实最近还有点喜欢上我那帮学生了呢！上周有个TA说有学生来找过我，还夸我讲得好，艾，满足了！那群乖学生们还会再走的时候站到我面前，就为了说声谢谢。这里本科的学费全美最高，学生都颇有背景，记得曾经有人拿到不及格，就找那个TA要分，第一句话居然是“丫居然敢给我不及格，知道我爸是谁么？！”晕倒。
前些天忙里偷闲，去了趟海边，很爽。今天又拿到了刚买了Canon Rebel Xti(EOS 400D)，琢磨了一番，改天出去拍些好照片扔上来。还有世界银行，我的梦啊！终于找了个在那里工作的师兄把我弄进去参观了一下，那里食堂的水果沙拉真的是不错，哈哈。等哪个暑假去实习吧~ 当梦想近在咫尺的时候，真实得有点让人不敢相信。我还记得，和不熟的人谈起要去world bank的时候，那些人不置可否的笑，天真地笑我的天真。
今天收拾屋子的时候，室友突然发现了我在垃圾桶底部的本子，找了好久原来在这！忍不住，想洗洗收藏，那是妈妈送我的本，记录着从高中到大学每天的计划，cynthia在里面写下的我的个人资料，已成过去的dream lover 和dream place，一度认为是偶像的Boss的临别赠言……想想，还是放弃，忍痛扔掉。当梦想快要实现的时候，我是否该有新的心愿了呢？当周围的一切都在异国翻新了的时候，我也该有新的生活了吧……
以此纪念刚刚释去的两个月。我回来了。 February 26 写给“土狼”四人组，还有所有与我共进步的朋友看了tina的blog，本来只想回复两句，结果写了这么多，想想放自己blog上吧。
很喜欢这两句
Maybe the way I have chosen is far from perfect, maybe it seems stupid, however, I would enjoy my life as it is, no matter what. 世上本无完美，我最讨厌的词是“后悔”，如果早知会后悔，当初何必如此选择，既然选择了，就不要后悔，相信自己的路上有让人不再疼痛的最美的风景。 “To live as life is newly born, to laugh as no one is around.” 我小的时候可以做到，我什么都不在乎，特立独行，但是我小时候发生过一件改变我整个性格的事情，让我变得sensitive，intimidated，我从此惧怕别人的目光，我从此开始隐藏心中的想法，我从此无比地害怕失去，我做违心的事，说违心的话，因为那不伤人，人们也不伤害我。我以为委曲求全可以得到平和的人生，可是我错了。我本不是平常人（吹一下，不过真这么认为），我的想法也不是所有人都会想到，或者可以接受，长时间的憋着会有抑郁，我记得cyn说过我很怪，我说是吗？她说我们之间有谁不怪呢？special is good,right?我释怀了。我感到之前我是被自己的强力包裹的种子，大学经历了很多痛苦和快乐，我终于把自己释放出来，发芽，绽放，可能只是一珠不起眼的小花，可能是牡丹玫瑰，不在乎，因为自由的感觉真好。学会接受周围人的不同，学会把所有别人做的当成恩赐来感激，学会给予而不是索取。喜欢和你在一起，喜欢和你一起说加油，然后为各自的理想而奋斗。有人对我说过，为什么你们这些girls能这么要好？我想那是因为我们不是因为寂寞而在一起，而是因为共同的信念和追求（插一句，我认为，so does爱情）。有人问，为什么每次看到你都这么positive&happy，我想，那是因为我和一群追求positive&happy的人在一起。喜欢下楼梯，因为我可以蹦蹦跳跳地下，然后心情也跟着好起来，尤其是我手里再牵着一个同样这样想的朋友，直到有一天，有人告诉我看到我就突然明白了“屁颠屁颠”的意思，我终于找到了那个词来描述我所追求和享受的生活，在充满爱和正面情绪的世界里“屁颠屁颠”，付出自己的热情与爱，欢笑与泪，汗水，甚至是伤口中正在留着的血，人活着不容易，应该享受一切，哪怕是伤痛，那也是一种美。 人要活，而不是混日子。我承认享受闲适是不可缺少的一课，但我同样很想感受到生命的韧性和力度。在此对我所有不小心伤害的人说声抱歉，对所有出现在我生命旅程的人说声谢谢，不论是朋友还是对手，you make me complete. December 22 打台球今天不爽，去打台球，在我定的规则下（我打时白球可以随便放），还是输了，哎
大家都没错，沟通不够嘛。突然发现自己老是活在幻想中，觉得一切应该如何如何运行和发展，这里检讨一下，以后除了重大事情再也不plan了，太伤元气，还很有可能被扼杀在婴儿状态。从此要脚踏实地，从明天开始好好找工作，hoho December 18 What a wonderful world!听到这首熟悉的歌，心情一下子平静起来。 what a wonderful world December 15 All is over.Everything is over. Everything. Not just the application. I feel tired and guess I need some rest.
I knew there would be an outcome, but I didnt expect it came in this way and turned out to be such kind of result. This noon was the application deadline for 2 of my applied universities.I got up at 9,turned on my laptop,checked my email,then I saw the shock news. I wept for almost 2 hours, meanwhile I had to keep myself sober to finish my online application,which would determine my future. It was so hard!
To be rational, I admit the result is the best for me and I should thank god for not putting me into big trouble, but I still feel sad. Does rationality make any sense in this kind of things? It's just like the pure dream of a little girl was suddenly broken by reality. I dont like this kind of answer, an answer that means nothing: No end while no hope.
Though I'm always hesitant and think a lot before making a decision,once I make it,I'll never change my mind.I'll cherish what I have regardless of what I might have if I choose another. Unless...miracle. Unfortunately, I believe fairy tale and so many miracles has happened. I have a intuition that this thing hasnt come to an end yet.Let's see how the story goes...But there is one thing I can promise, I will protect people who care about me.Same with him,hehe,but I'll do it better.
I still feel bad. But just let me be like this for a while, I know I can revive in sadness. Xu sent me the following song, and I played it for a mountain of times. Why it describes what I wanna say so perfectly?
<White Flag>
by Dido
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that But if I didn't say it Well, I'd still have felt it Where's the sense in that? I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "It's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet
As I'm sure we will All that was then Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be December 01 写给吴想起今年她的生日我还因为过的糊涂发短信发错了日期就觉得过意不去。今天心血来潮用网络给她打了个电话，居然一猜就知道是我，太神奇了（同屋的一人也试skype结果男朋友愣是半天没听出来）今天高兴，贴篇她高中毕业时给写我的一篇文章，感叹真不愧是了解我呀。
枫 她说她最喜欢枫叶，是那种红成一片的五角形的叶子，没有任何原因任何余地的喜欢，甚至可以用爱来形容。事出总有因，我想也许是她和枫有着很相似的地方，她才会如此钟爱那秋天小小的精灵吧。特别而又普通，独立却又依赖，奇怪的但很轻易就融进了她的性格。于是，她喜欢别人叫她“枫”，她也用“枫”当作昵称上网。 对于已有四年网龄的她，上网实在是件很吸引的事呢。她可以一泡就是一天，可以在网上胡乱灌水，也拥有自己的网站——红枫客栈。可她更是一个好的听众，一个柔和中带点野性的女孩，一个可以轻易为别人付出自己感情的人。在现实中，她实在很小，无论身材抑或是年龄，可是在网上，她却总爱充当大姐大，去安慰别人。很多网友怀疑她的年龄甚至是性别，虽然她从不隐藏什么。不过，这似乎让她看到了自己的另一面——她曾说过，每个人都拥有多重的性格，只不过有的人直到死还没有机会窥见自己的另一面。那么，网络的虚幻便成就了她的这种机会。其实，在她乖巧的表面下隐藏的性格是自信的甚至是狂妄的，却又那么恰到好处。 枫很喜欢钱，是真的喜欢，连她大学想报的志愿都是经管，据说毕业以后“钱”途大好。不过她却不同于普通的拜金族，她很省，但她同样知道什么时候不应该省，而且她对朋友也决不吝啬。枫，其实有着相当广泛的爱好或喜好。她喜欢BSB，因为他们的和声很好听；她喜欢看书，看一切名噪一时的小说，但大都很失望——照她的话来说，是因为她自己就写得出来那种文章。是的，她的文笔很好……；她喜欢边看电视边吃东西边写作业，可往往进度最快的却是吃东西……；她喜欢艺术，也可以说是热爱——曾经在无数网上算过命：金牛座+O型血，结果总让她很兴奋：她属于那种适合搞艺术的人，因为她是一个感性的人，而非理性。是的，她是一个感性的人，她会因为网友的一封长信而哭上一夜，她会因为别人的一句话而影响自己的心情，她会因为朋友寄来的射雕漫画而激动三天，她会因为他人一个小小的承诺而认真地等待……太容易受伤，也太容易治愈。我已无法说清这到底是好还是坏了，反正她已经自得其乐地融入其中了。 枫，一个太简单却又太复杂的人呦。 September 27 Right here waiting现在，我才知道为何会是那种眼神……
Ocean apart day after day
And I slowly go insane I hear your voice on the line But it doesn't stop the pain If I see you next to never How can we say forever Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you I took for granted, all the times That I thought would last somehow I hear the laughter, I taste the tears But I can't get near you now Oh, can't you see it baby You've got me going crazy Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you I wonder how we can survive This romance But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance Oh, can't you see it baby You've got me going crazy Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you 那时，放着这首歌，没有仔细听
现在细看歌词，百感交集，泪流满面
不是伤心，是一种感慨和感动 September 25 TibetToday I upload some pics I took in Tibet.It's such a wonderful place.I could feel the world outside the earth,I could see the world inside myself.
It's a wonder.It should be perfect,but it's not......I can pretend to be strong,but I felt lonely...Every night when I was surrounded by the darkness, I felt the tears...But every morning I could find power from the sunshine then smile. Was it because actually I was strong? or it's just I forgot I was pretending to be strong? Was I crying because I was sad or I felt thankful? Was I smiling because I was happy or I wanted to hide? Was I saying that because I was fragile or because I was strong? Was I doing that because I cared about others or because I was timid?Twisted,then complicated.
I wanna live a simple life, but why things are always complicated? Are things really complicated? or I complicate those simple things? Is thinking too much the responsibility for others,or just tiring myself? Am I right? Am I wrong? Is it right for me to do what I wanna do? But what I really want? Sometimes I want to follow my feelings, but how I feel about it? Sometimes I want to take responsibility, but is it mine? Sometimes I want to give up and want me to be the only one who have to suffer from the pain, but can hurting myself prevent others to be hurt? By doing this, I hope people I care can be happier, but are they actually happy? Am I nice to them, cruel to myself? or am I cruel to each of us? Am I free or trapped? or both? I lose my balance.
Anyway, Tibet is a magic place. The only thing I know is I'm searching for the exciting serenity. And I only found it in Namtso lake:) August 19 Going to TibetI'm going to Tibet tomorrow evening by train.That's one of my dream places.I dont know whether this trip could help me understand something and forget something, or make me in a deeper trap.Anyway,just enjoy my journey and see what will happen.
Goodbye to all my friends. Love you,
Yvonne July 24 What American city is YvonneHmmm,there is one question I cant decide which to choose, and by choosing different items,I got different results: Austin & Boston
You Are Boston
 Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots.
Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best. And quite frankly, you think you are the best. Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block
You Are Austin A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. July 21 One night in BeijingI cant ignore this song when I first hear it. Beijing....I really dont know how to describe it.There are too many things deposited through a history of thousands of years.It's not just a city, it's not just a place to travel.
It's alive, with a soul of romance...
Dont dare to ask the way at midnight,I'm afraid I will go to somewhere deeply hidden by flowers...
It is said somewhere hidden by flowers live lovers... An old lady,serene,waiting for her husband to come back from war...
It's alive, with a soul of expansiveness...(I cant find a proper word..maybe bold and unconstrained ? great-hearted? heroic?)
Men singing with much wine, they are like the wolves coming from the north...
It is said those heros would stand outside the gate of city in the cold wind,wearing old armour,shouting outside the city,with tears in their eyes...
Sigh...I've been waiting for thousands of years, why the gate dont open...
Sigh...I've been waiting for thousands of years, why he dont come back...
Dont dare to ask the way at midnight,I'm afraid I will touch off the sad feelings...
Dont dare to ask the way at midnight,I'm afraid I will go to Di An Men where I cant help loving... [One Night in Beijing]
one night in 北京，我留下许多情
不管你爱与不爱，都是历史的尘埃 one night in 北京，我留下许多情 不敢在午夜问路，怕走到了百花深处 人说百花地深处，住着老情人缝着绣花鞋 面容安详的老人，依旧等待着出征的归人 one night in 北京，你可别喝太多酒
走在地安门外，没有人不动真情 one night in 北京，我留下许多情 把酒高歌的男儿，是北方的狼族 人说北方的狼族，会在寒风起站在城门外 穿着腐蚀的铁衣，呼唤城门外眼中含着泪 呜..我已等待了几千年，为何城门还不开 呜..我已等待了两千年，为何良人不回来
one night in 北京，我留下许多情 不敢在午夜问路，怕触动了伤心的魂 one night in 北京，我留下许多情 不敢在午夜问路，怕走到了地安门 不想再问你你到底在何方 不想再思量你能否归来嘛 想着你的心想着你的脸 想捧在胸口能不放就不放 one night in 北京 July 20 Wonderful weekend!I spent the whole weekend exploring Beijing with some friends,it's really coooooool~
Although I was born in Beijing and lived here for more than 20 year,I never tried to find the cultural base of Beijing.....it's really a pity. But it's not late right? People always want things that they dont possess, but dont cherish what they already had. Till someday they lose those valuable things, they start to regret. I dont wanna regret someday, so I pack my bag, move to my dorm(actually the last night was spent in hotel
 ),just like I'm on my way to a new place. I like this kind of feelings! I didnt go Summer Palace or Forbidden City, those are places for strangers to know Beijing quickly, those are exterior stuff, if you really wanna feel about Beijing, you have to spend an afternoon, order a cup of tea, chat with friend or watch Beijing Opera.The Lao She Tea House is really a great place to taste tea,and also taste the culture of Beijing. There are various traditional chinese performances in different rooms.I ordered a cup of tea, it has a romantic name....but I forget it. Some tea leaves were tied together,and when boiling water was add to the glass, the leaves started to stretch, then, a flower that hide in tea leaves showed up!!
Also, I sat in a tricycle, and let a original Beijinger show me around Hu Tong.The Si He Yuan(quad) has to follow many rules.The four directions represent medal,wood,water and fire, these four with ground are the five elements in ancient chinese people's philosophy. There are also some rules for which direction live the parents,which for children,which for boys and which for girls. An Si He Yuan can not only live people without any plant,because in Chinese charactor,a person in a square(囚) means prisoner. Also, no one live in Si He Yuan is also unlucky,because tree in a square(困)means constrained. So interesting! Though I saw model of Si He Yuan before, seeing a real one still made me excited.
We then tried the snack in a famous place.It's just open for a few days. Every store there has a history more than 100 years! The only problem was that there were so many people......hard for us to find a table......But it worth waiting
 Ahmmm, I am so sleepy now,It's already 3 am......Maybe I'll be to those places again in dreams...haha April 20 Uncertain"I know not who put me into the world, nor what the world is, not what I myself am. I am in terrible ignorance of everything.
"I see those frightful spaces of the universe which surround me, and I find myself tied to one corner of this vast expanse.
"I see nothing but infinites on all sides, which surround me as an atom, and as a shadow which endures only for an instant and returns no more.
"As I know not whence I come, so I know not whither I go. I know only that, in leaving this world, I fall for ever either into annihilation or into the hands of an angry God, without knowing to which of these two states I shall be for ever assigned. Such is my state, full of weakness and uncertainty.
"Man is but a reed, the most feeble thing in nature, but he is a thinking reed. The entire universe need not arm itself to crush him. A vapour, a drop of water suffices to kill him. But, if the universe were to crush him, man would still be more noble than that which killed him, because he knows that he dies and the advantage which the universe has over him; the universe knows nothing of this.
"All our dignity consists then in thought."
----Blaise Pascal
<<thoughts>> November 21 An end,finallyOhhhh...My way of GT....temporarily ends.
Back to college tomorrow,I miss all my courses!
I love Latin!
 perhaps one day I will start to learn Spanish~Dance heaven |
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